"When we can no longer dream, we die" -Emma Goldman

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

this shouldn't be tedious. i shouldn't want to run away right now. i shouldn't want to quit and give up.
aren't these supposed to be the days i remember? the ones i look back on fondly?
not the ones where i'm distant, cold, bitchy and upset.
not the ones where i'm crying in bathrooms and rehashing old problems.
why couldn't there be warning or help?
cockroaches aren't supposed to walk on two legs
yet here they are singing and dancing
and ruining my days.
hug me kiss me look at me, i won't notice, i won't want it
i'll push you away, i know it
i'm trying to push away this pit in my stomach but i don't care
i like it
i'm sorry if i'm invisible to you, i'll try harder next time to make you see me
i sort of want to care, but if you aren't then neither am i. cattle call, right?
so i'm just another piece of meat you can eat.
go get a heart, yours died a long time ago

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