"When we can no longer dream, we die" -Emma Goldman

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

end of the road

its like a maze.
you take a left and get
so you turn around and go back where you came from
into the abyss
into the unknown
the blue/grey haze clouds your mind
and the fish fill your ears with whispers of the depths
tempting and haunting
then the fish start telling you lies
and you can't resist

Saturday, July 18, 2009

What happens when I hide in the bathroom

Nope. I lied. Just hearing that song talked about made me cry. I bolted to the bathroom.
Damn. Why does that still happen? Does muscle memory apply to tear ducts?

and now, how i REALLY feel

SO much for friends. I do recall a "best friends" in there somewhere. I'm sorry if your memory isn't working but I'm pretty sure that late nights, sleepovers, vacations, beach days and hanging out constitutes us as friends.
I always tried to be kind to you, to be a great friend, because you were so much fun and so nice that I was willing to over look when you weren't. 
Your loss, I can tell you that. 


Why isn't 'I'm sorry' ever enough? Do you need a time machine? Do I need to undo my actions? I can't do that! If that's what you need then maybe our friendship isn't worth it. You're fun and understanding but if I have to be ignored for months then...what am I fighting for? We barely talk anymore. Everyone messes up. So please, please stop, and listen.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Here we go again

It's not mine, but SO TRUE!

I throw all of your stuff away 
Then I clear you out of my head 
I tear you out of my heart 
And ignore all your messages 
I tell everyone we are through 
Cause I'm so much better without you 
But it's just another pretty lie 
Cause I break down 
Everytime you come around 
O Oh O Oh 

So how did you get here 
Under my skin? 
I swore that I'd never let you back in 
Should have known better 
Than trying to let you go 
Cause here we go go go again 
Hard as I try I know I can't quit 
Something about you 
Is so addictive 
We're falling together 
You'd think that by now I'd know 
Cause here we go go go again 

okay so my bffl is sick of me. great. thanks. good to know. 

"just dont talk to me because I dont' want to hurt you and i dont want to say something i will regret later."

thats not insulting is it? i saw it as a precaution, because when I get angry, i tend to say things that are really hurtful. Im just trying to protect her, not piss her off. 

But don't get me wrong, I am upset. WE MADE PLANS! That means, we plan on a place to meet, then meet there, then commence hanging out. Not: We say we're gonna hang out then you say that you're sick of me and go hang with someone else because you and I have been spending alot of time together.
Nice. Good friend. Love you too.

Well since you're prob reading this, here's what I think: that you flaked. You might think otherwise but now that you know my side of the argument, you can truly understand your actions.
Have fun in Santa Clarita. Whatever.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

I knew it was different this time because I started singing along but the tears never came. I think that there were enough band aids on the cut you put on my heart to stop the bleeding this time. history's a bitch, eh?

Monday, July 13, 2009

What We're Supposed to do.

I feel like we are supposed to say that in order to look good, we don't try hard. But I try really really hard. I don't want to sound vain, but I think really hard about what I'm going to wear to things and how my hair and makeup are going to be. It's kind of annoying when I don't get noticed by guys for all my effort. There are girls who try equally as hard as me(i hope) yet end up putting on 1/3 the clothes. It's like...DID YOU FORGET THAT YOUR TOP IS TOO SMALL? Do you shop in the little girls department? Is that why you look like you belong on MELROSE AT DUSK??? Gawd. I misspelled "God"...that's how upset I am by this matter. There should be an organization that de-skankifies girls...anyone wanna join me? Let me know, I'll get right on it. I'm not saying button your shirts to the top and become a mormon, oh no. I'm saying that if you're shirt is see through, make it an undershirt. I'm saying that if your butt hangs out your denim shorts and they would be better classified as denim PANTIES, they don't fit and should be donated to Goodwill or the Salvation Army. Come on ladies, we are all looking for the right guy, no need to dress like a whore to get one. Because odds are he thinks you are one and will leave your payment on the nightstand on his way out. 

pb OUT!
Summer On!

Thursday, July 9, 2009


Let me set this straight:
I dont' NEED a guy, I WANT one! I don't need a guy to survive. I want one to survive with me, but I wouldn't die if I didn't have one. Clear? Good.
Summer On!

Just Jump

"just jump" is my new motto this summer. Dont' think. Don't analyze. Just jump. It applies mostly to guys, but can work other places. Off the top of my head, I don't really know what those places are, but it does work there! 
Right now I'm listening to Hannah Montana's "He Could Be The One". Did anyone watch the special 1hr episode? SHE SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN JESSE!!! Jake is so...old! And Jesse is SO HAWT AND AMAZING! He broke up with his other girlfriend because he met Hannah/Miley. I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?! Hmph. Why is it that Miley Cyrus has guys crawling all over her and I've got...my stuffed animals? Life sucks. I need to be famous like Miley then I'll get a boyfriend..*cough* TAYLOR LAUTNER *cough*
I'm tired and working tomorrow. 
Summer On!
pb <3

Sunday, July 5, 2009


1) OMG someone who I don't know found my blog. THAT IS SO COOL! I want to spread my word across the nation (or as far as it will go!!) haha. I just like knowing that there is spreading of my url going around.

2) Moonlight is so pretty! Does anyone that lives in an urban area (cough, me!) really know about this?? I was driving home from Topanga Canyon with my family and I looked out the window @ the beach and there was this pathway from the moon to the shore of moonlight. It was awesome. I was in awe. It was a sight to behold. Get it? 

3) Sleeping in is a great invention. Kudos to anyone that created it.

4) I saw Transformers 2 the other day and I need to say this: WE GET IT. MEGAN FOX IS PRETTY! NO NEED TO SLOW-MO HER RUNNING SO EVERY SINGLE MALE IN THE AUDIENCE SEES HER BOOBS BOUNCING UP AND DOWN. JESUS! Yeah. That needed to be said.

Summer on!
p.s. try the new coconut Pinkberry! Its not as disgusting as it sounds!