i want to crawl up onto the lifeguard tower
and build a home up there
and watch the tides change
and watch the beach go
and watch the sun rise
and watch the moon set
and remember everything we did
we said
because that was the last time it was all good
and it went downhill from there
i was the activation energy
i was the catalyst
i was the BOOM
that screwed everything over
but mostly the what-if
that keeps ticking in my ears
and playing on loop in my dreams
and screaming at me whenever i close my eyes
and it'd never work now
but it's oh-so-nice to think
what-if?
i was okay
i was good enough
i was wanted by you
then everything would be just like that lifeguard tower
and you'd give me your hand and help me off
and then the credits would roll
and the songs would play
and then i'd wake up.

ba-boom
ba-boom
then death