"When we can no longer dream, we die" -Emma Goldman

Sunday, June 28, 2009

effed up...?

Everyone has flaws, that's undeniable. For example: I can't cry in front of other people. I am ashamed of myself for being so vulnerable. I'm not afraid to talk about it afterwards (clearly), its just that my parents used to get mad @ me for crying when I was younger, so I would hide it. And now, I just don't like crying in front of other people. I will legit hide. Like in drama class. I had breakdowns quite frequently during that class (we all did, lets be honest) but other people would be up front about it. I would go and hide behind that curtain that covers the door to the dressing room in Intimate. Yeah, I would hide behind a curtain and cry. Or one class period, I crawled under the bleachers that were there for Uncommon Women and broke. down. Sobbing to the point that my lips and cheeks were numb after. I could hear ppl talking to their "judges" and even though I knew they weren't talking to me, everything they said brought on a new wave of sobs. It was so strange. 

Can anyone relate or am I just effed up...?
I'm exhausted and going to beddie bye. So night night.
peanut butter xoxo

p.s. I'm thinking of changing Copperboom for the summer. any suggestions?

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