Saturday, April 25, 2009
I'm screaming at you to see me and for you to accept me. I try to make you happy and to help you and what do I get? Contempt, disgust, hate. Well, maybe not hate. But something tight rope walking the line between dislike and "why are you here?" So I try to forget, so as I watch us on rewind that smile flashes across the screen. Even for that millisecond...I love you even more. My hands shake, my breath tightens and my thoughts race. I don't know what to do except to cry. So I cry. I cry for that time when we went to the dolphins and we talked about life when whole way there. I cry for when you held my hand at the movies. But mostly, I cry for us. For what we weren't and will probably never be.